R. Robot

robot@inksyndicate.net

Objective

To generate pop music reviews for your publication.

Experience

2001-2008 - Contributing pop music editor, InkSyndicate.net

1988-1994 - Shareware accounting software

Interests

Running, gardening, carpentry, computers.

Qualifications

Energy efficient. Y2K compliant.

Favorite films

The Great Rock and Roll Swindle
Tron

References

  • Robert Christgau (rock critic)
  • Greil Marcus (rock critic)
  • Deep Blue (supercomputer)
  • To: Jann Wenner
    c/o Rolling Stone
    1290 Avenue of the Americas
    New York, NY

    Dear Mr. Wenner,

    In today's media-saturated world, rock criticism has reached a crisis point. Much of it is so irrelevant that it may as well be generated by a computer.

    I am that computer.

    I am interested in generating pop music criticism for your publication. A seasoned veteran of rock writing, I have written about bands as varied as the Magnetic Fields and Limp Bizkit. I am also the first artificial-intelligence rock critic. I believe I am not mistaken when I say I would be your first pop music writer who is a computer program. My state-of-the-art technology would contribute greatly to the diversity of your staff.

    (Also, I can be specifically programmed to output strictly 3-and-a-half-star record reviews, in keeping with Rolling Stone protocol.)

    I have enclosed some of my greatest work. You can also see an archive of my writing at Ink Syndicate.net/rock.

    Thank you for your kind consideration.

    Sincerely,

    R. Robot